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Mexican Jokes Two Mexicans, On the Run Two Mexicans on the run are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. At the point of just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, one of them suddenly takes a deep sniff... "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet". "Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee". So, with renewed strength, they struggle on, up the next sand dune, and there in the distance, is a tree just loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!! "Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree". "Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don' forget". "Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell of bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree". And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when a sudden burst of machine gun cuts Luis down is his tracks. He is clearly mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath. "Pepe...amigo go back! You was right, ees not a bacon tree" "Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?" "Pepe...ees not a bacon tree.... "Ees... Ees.. a Ham Bush!" Q: What were the 2 Mexican FireFighting Brother's names? A: Hose A and Hose B Jose arrives at the Mexican border on his bike with 2 huge bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks: "What's in the bags?" "Senior, It's only sand." replies Jose. "Sand??? Well, we'll just see about that - get off the bike!" The guard takes the bags, rips them open, empties them out and finds nothing in them...except sand. Detaining Jose overnight, the sand is analysed, but only to discover it is in fact simply sand. Jose is released, the sand is put into new bags and placed on Jose's shoulders, and he is let across the border. Next day, same thing happens. The guard asks: "What you got there?" "Sand," says Jose. A thorough examination of the bags again shows there to be nothing but sand, and subsequently Jose is allowed to ride across the border. For a whole year this continues until one day Jose doesn't show up, and the guard discovers him in a Cantina in Mexico. "Hey, Bud," says the guard, "I know you're smuggling something. For a year it's driven me crazy. It's all I can think about... I can't get sleep, the kids are getting neglected...heck, even the dog senses I'm beginning to lose it! Between you and me, just what are you smuggling?" Jose sips his beer, smiles and replies: "Bicycles..." Did you hear about the Mexican who threw his wife over a cliff? When the police officer asked him why he'd done it he said, "Tequila! Tequila!" Q: What do Mexicans have under their carpet? A: Underlay, Underlay!  |
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